"Let's Talk"

The third principle in our ways to get along in families is COMMUNICATION. This word might need some clarification for your children, so be sure they know what it means. Encourage them to look up the definition and offer their suggestions for its meaning. We like to say that we can show love to our families by sharing our lives with them. Our action statement for communication is "Let's Talk!"

Sharing our lives with our families means that we need to have a constant dialogue going, where each family member is open and honest about their feelings, hurts, wants, issues, etc. No-one can possibly know what is bothering a family member if that isn't communicated to them. One of the biggest detriments to family harmony is giving someone the "silent treatment." This erodes the family in many harmful ways. So it is important to keep the lines of communication open.

Angry and disrespectful communication can also damage family life. Problems never get fixed if we pretend they aren't real or try to hide them and not talk about them. Good communication in families involves getting things resolved. Often it is necessary to hold a family meeting to get conflicts resolved. In this, each person has a chance to voice their side of the problem. The family works together to sort out the details and determine the consequences or the solutions. Each member agrees to abide by the family's agreement.

Good communication in families can be modeled and encouraged by good communication among the adults in the family. As we are teaching our children manners and social skills, the importance of modeling the behaviors we want our children to demonstrate can't be stressed enough. If you use the Magic Words daily, your family will also. If you encourage sharing and taking turns, the kids will soon learn that as well. If you are polite and civil in all areas and instances, that will be what your kids see as normal behavior. If you talk about issues and conflicts, your kids will learn that that is how to handle problems. Open communication isn't hard, it is just a good habit that can easily be implemented in any family.