Getting Kids to do What We Ask

Continuing with our tips for family harmony, we are confronted with the dilemma of getting our children to do what we ask of them, without a fight. Though we call this principle OBEDIENCE, I know that some will frown at the use of this word. But what else would you call asking a child to do something and then expecting them to do it?

Not unexpectedly, our action statement for obedience is "I Will." Your kids will probably ask "why do I have to be obedient?" Here are a few arguments you can use. Things that need to get done in the home will get done efficiently. You will earn your family's trust. You may earn privileges, such as going out to play sooner. You may avoid being scolded or punished. You will be protected from potentially harmful situations. There will be more harmony and happiness in your home. If many of these sound like some of the same outcomes of being responsible, that is true.

It is a good idea to discuss with your children the level of obedience you require. Also present the concept of choosing to be obedient, rather than being forced to comply. It's fun to have them create role plays to show the differences here. Have one child demonstrate arguing about something you ask them to do, and another demonstrate throwing a tantrum instead of choosing to be obedient. Then discuss the results of the behaviors and how choosing to be obedient is the better choice all around.

As you are teaching your children social skills such as being obedient, it is a good idea to let them know the people in their lives that you expect them to obey. This would include adults in your family, their teacher, the local law enforcement, etc. As a measure of safety, stress to them the importance of "not" obeying someone whose requests are harmful.