There have been quite a few blog entries here on the subject of family manners and how families can get along. That has not been by accident. Most of what our children learn about life and how to live it begins in the home.
We often treat our own families in ways that we would never treat friends, or those we work with. It's important to stress to children that their families deserve our best manners and behavior, not our worst.
Most kids like incentives, like praise for a job well done, and even more, like to be commended for doing something extra, or without being asked. Most like to be able to receive a star or check next to something they have accomplished; such as on a list or chart.
Good social skills training requires not only constant reinforcement, but engaging the kids in fun ways to create that reinforcement. We often use charts that are easily created by the kids themselves.
Have them create a chart for the week with three sections: Love, Attitude, and Gratitude. Under each heading have spaces for each family member's name, with columns next to it for the days of the week.
In the Love section the column heading would be "I said 'I love you' to:" check off each day that each family member hears those words from the child. In the Attitude section the column heading would be "I had a good attitude toward:" again check off the day for each family member. In the Gratitude section the column heading would be "I showed gratitude to:" and check off daily next to each person's name.
Every parent wants to be proud of the way their children behave and interact with others. Let's face it, the day will come when they go out the door and we have no control over what they say and do. A few fun lessons can make the difference.
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I like the idea of your chart and I think love, gratitude and attitude are very important! As a grandmother of nine, I offer another suggestion. Reading fun books is another way to teach your children the benefits of consideration for others and being polite. A book emphasizing good manners is The Magic Word by Sherrill S. Cannon. This book, which can be read to toddlers, is a rhyming story of a little girl who was rude, selfish and demanding – and had very few friends. Her mother suggested that she needed to improve her manners; so when she went to school the next day, she thought of her mother’s advice, “What is the magic word?” and she started saying “Please” and also “Thank You”. She tried to become more thoughtful of others, and discovered that she was a much happier person. The repetitive use of the phrase “What is the magic word?” has children answering “Please”!
ReplyDeleteHello Sherrill, Thanks for your comment. It is good to know there are people who share my interest in helping children develop good manners and social skills. Your book addressed to toddlers is the perfect time to start this training. Kudos to you.
ReplyDeleteBarbara Gilmour