Avoiding Thanksgiving Meltdowns

I would guess that most people in the US, regardless of religion or ethnicity, celebrate Thanksgiving. It's a great time for friends and family to gather, watch a game, and show gratitude for all we have. And, of course to overindulge in some great, traditional food. It can also be a great time of stress, especially for the family hosting the big meal.

When teaching manners classes, one of the biggest complaints I heard from kids about holidays was the relatives who showed up and wanted to greet them with a slobbery kiss or bear hug. Often, these were people they seldom saw, and in many cases the kids were a little afraid of them. There is an easy way to defuse this situation.

First, show your kids pictures of the family members who will be attending your dinner so they are familiar with who they are and can learn their names. Second, practice introductions with the kids; standing straight and tall, making eye contact, speaking clearly, and how to shake hands. Just knowing how to greet someone will give your child the confidence needed to jump in first and greet the visiting relative before they have time for the kiss or hug. The relative will be so pleased with your child's good manners, that they will respond with a handshake and continue the introduction.

Include your children in the Thanksgiving planning. Kids love to be an active part of family gatherings; not just showing up for the meal. Most kids enjoy making some kind of age-appropriate decorations. They also like to have some specific chores or responsibilities for the meal. Older kids can take some of the burden off Mom or Dad with meal preparations and clean up.

If you have several young children attending and have room for a "kids' table" I would encourage you to set that up. It would be fun for them to have some activities at the table to do between courses or after the meal. Ahead of time, ask your children to select certain toys and games that they want to share with visiting children. If there are certain ones they don't want to share, just put them away. There is no need to have your child upset about their favorite toy getting broken.

A tradition that I like is asking each family member to share something they are grateful for. Ask the kids before the meal to be thinking of something to say, so they are prepared. Young children might draw a picture. Older kids can help younger ones by prompting them with some ideas of what to share. Whatever their ages, you can be sure their comments will be priceless.